Holy Trinity Sunday – John 3:16-18
In the midst of a most confusing time in the world – and seemingly in my life. I have listened now three times to Father G’s homily. I listened to Conversation with God, and read today’s entry for Divine Intimacy. I’ve read and reread the readings. I am searching for meaning, for You Father, searching for what is good and right and true.
For God sent His only beloved Son…. a Son begotten of you …. a Son who knows you alone… a Son you created of yourself and given to me. This Son to be the bridge from my sin to your glory … to pay the price of my weakness. Your love for this Son is immense – something I cannot fathom for what you watched Him endure is crushing for a father or mother to watch.
I see this in my family – this crushing but necessary heartache of truth. We sow what we reap. How it must hurt you to see us struggle so much – often unnecessarily but because of our own pride and selfishness. It is easy to think about becoming a hermit – to hide away from this world and just cuddle up next to you – your teachings, Saints and all things holy and unblemished.
But that too is why you sent me your spirit – to guide and direct my steps I take here in this world. It is why there is such joy in knowing you walk with me, talk with me and as the song goes, You tell me I am your own. You made me in your image, you fashioned me in my mother’s womb. You have a plan for my life, and yet you have given me free will. Now in the august of my life, as I color my grays and have scaled back to what I used to be able to do, I ponder your words with greater intensity to find meaning. Many choices lay in front of me and I only want what you want. And you want what I want, if it brings me closer to you. Like your relationship Jesus with your Father, He knows you through and through. You know me. You know my strengths and weaknesses. St. Paul encourages me to mend my ways and encourage another, to live in peace and in doing so, you will be with me. But I still struggle with decisions. It is hard being alone, knowing what is right. The quietness of my home often lets the enemy sneak about. I must constantly be aware – understand and yes, take action against him.
I believe in you Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I believe in the one who created me, knit me in the womb, bore me into this world and gave my life a purpose. I will be saved by the power of the you, Jesus, You who died for my transgressions. You who have shown me by the teachings you gave to the Apostles, the Saints and all holy people. I know I am blessed to have as my companion you, the love of the Father and the Son, oh most Holy Spirit. For you enter my thoughts, you encourage and strengthen me, you bring me to people who love you and abide in following the Father and the Son as we live out our days here. I pray for so many who do not believe, do not adore, do not know or love you. So many that I love have no idea of who you are. Hear my prayers O Trinity. Do not condemn them, but awaken them to the truth you gave to me and which set me free. I adore thee Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Let me be one with you and bring your truth to all those hurting so that they might not be condemned at their last breath.