Jerusalem Pilgrimage, 2019

Jesus told his disciples “go and make this proclamation,  the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.”  But what will it cost us we cry, always looking to self instead of to our Father who provides everything we need.  Matthew 10:7-15

And how, Lord, am I supposed to do this?  Our world is filled with those who do not listen nor know you or have already rejected you.

This is where you got me Lord.  You break it down through the teachers of your word.  You explain it in terms I can understand.  What I do in prayer – in sitting deep in your word, is proclaim your kingdom by praying and using the gifts you have given to me.  In my searching for understanding and listening to you direct my thoughts, I am helped to see how to proclaim your kingdom to those I meet in my day.  Whether I am traveling to the grocery store, car dealer or post office, I am encountering those who may not know your Kingdom is at hand.  I can share it by offering a hand, a word, a smile.  It does not kill me to step aside, to let another go first, pick something up or share a kind word.  Too often in the past I just pass people.  Many would think it odd for me to mention anything – they would think, that’s weird – I don’t know her, why is she talking to me?  Yet I may be the one voice you use in their world to break the thoughts of despair or confusion or something I couldn’t fathom or see.  We pass and you are there.  It is a moment I can offer you.  Do they see me or hear you?

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You even ask more …  “cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, drive out demons.”   I’m not a doctor, nor exorcist, and you can only raise the dead.  How is it possible for me to do this?   This healing… you’ve talked about it in the Scriptures all week.  Lord, your healing of me is what brought us back together. Someone was praying for me.   Someone, somewhere in this huge body of yours was offering up through prayer and penance – perhaps even in sacrifice – for those of us who were separated from you.  So when I came face to face with a choice to take on a big change in my life – when I said yes, I believe those graces were released.  My path swung in your direction; my feet entered the river of your grace.  I was carried into freedom from my past, and given a new life for my future.  The most beautiful part was i was carried not to a fine doctor of the mind, but to the divine physician who healed my soul – by those who had already walked this same journey.  They too were following your command – go, proclaiming the Kingdom.  Your Kingdom is not of sorrow or shame but forgiveness and joy.  Since I’ve had my eyes opened to it, I cannot go back or do anything different than to look for ways to help others find it too.

Then you exhort me even more –  “without cost you have received, without cost you are to give.”  Your healing did not cost me anything except to put down my baggage of shame, regret and self loathing.  In doing so I was set free and looked forward to how I could do the same for another – being a vessel for you to come to them; giving in the way you have taught me – prayer, forgiveness, penance and then medicine and the doctor.  Whether it’s soul or body that is in pain, you, our Divine Physician, know already the pains of each and every person in our world. You have the infinite knowledge of knowing every hair that drops, every sparrow that falls.

You went on in the Gospel to tell us not to take anything, but to rely only on all you provide.  We are to look for worthy people to partner with, to keep peace in following you.  This made me think of a post I created seven years ago… where my friend Christine listened to what Mother Mary told her and how many lives changed because of her obedience.  Thank you for her example; never let me think something is too big.   You’ve got this Lord.  You are in charge and direct our steps.

Thank you for your grace and healing.  Lord I am not worthy, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed. Amen