I know many of my followers are aware that I am in training to become a certified spiritual director. Today’s Gospel (Matthew 17:14-20) hit me with what that would look like if I did not have faith the size of a mustard seed.
A man came up to Jesus, knelt down before him, and said,
“Lord, have pity on my son, who is a lunatic and suffers severely;
often he falls into fire, and often into water.
I brought him to your disciples, but they could not cure him.”
Jesus said in reply,
“O faithless and perverse generation, how long will I be with you?
How long will I endure you? Bring the boy here to me.”
Jesus rebuked him and the demon came out of him,
and from that hour the boy was cured.
Then the disciples approached Jesus in private and said,
“Why could we not drive it out?”
He said to them, “Because of your little faith.
Amen, I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed,
you will say to this mountain,
‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.
Nothing will be impossible for you.”
I trust Jesus will send the people he wants me to direct. I am learning it is not about me and how I “direct” but about using good listening skills and opening myself to the Holy Spirit to work in and through me. I may become the guide for ones journey to grow closer to Christ, but this is only because I know I am not alone. Christ has the power to unravel every twist and turn in life IF those who seek him have faith the size of a mustard seed. To begin discerning direction, one must know who has the power and who is the real director.
Sweet Jesus, I trust in you. I know you tire of my ways; so often I show a lack of faith, hope and charity towards others. You know how many times I fall; sometimes what you ask me to do seems so monumental! I don’t have the time or experience yet I look around and there’s no one else here. Help me to take only what you want me to have and close my eyes to all the distractions dangling in front me. Help me to stay focused on you and the teachings that will make me open to your spirit of beauty, truth and love so that I may help others. Thank you for choosing me to follow you, and to direct my life in this new endeavor to serve you in this way, if it be your will. Amen.