I woke this morning questioning the value of my blogging. Because there’s only so much time in a day after sleeping, eating and praying and blogging isn’t a 5 minute thing. I wrote this at 6 am and am finally typing at 10 pm. But I’m typing. And the evil one is always wanting to defer my efforts of serving our Lord. So I’m typing on – I hope you will continue reading!
I’m not a scholar with worldly or insightful talent to speak from; but I am humbled to know, love and adore our Lord in a meaningful way. So I have asked myself on numerous occasions, should I be blogging? Or should I be reading, reflecting and learning by spending time in other peoples blogs, videos and books?
In my mind I go back further – why did I even start it up again? It took over my life for awhile and really got me off track in my priorities. But the answer comes quickly – I love to write AND share the power of Jesus’ mercy and love. I feel that in writing and sharing, one person may want what I have with Christ and choose to seek him too!
Today’s Gospel message said to me that it doesn’t matter what little I give or how late I am. It’s the why and how I serve God that is more important. The motives for my choices have to be unselfish and done with joy. It’s GRACE, not works. I can type all day about nothing and who would want to listen anyway? I am thankful to take a step back here and there, not type, miss a day or two or three and just let God speak to my heart as to when and what to type. Otherwise, it’s pride and I’m wasting time for both of us.
The last two days in the scripture readings we reflected on the rich man and attachments to possessions. This helps put today’s readings in perspective for me. It is only by God’s grace, his plan for my life – moment by moment, that I need to dwell on. Sure there’s all that other “stuff” to work around – appointments, people, classes, etc. Sometimes I hear God calling me early and sometimes late, and sometimes it’s to write and other times just sit and be still. Or make a cake with a granddaughter.
May I always be obedient Lord to each day of mental prayer with you – listening and taking up the direction you are asking me to follow. Help me to see that it is not one but in all things that I will find you when I have you as my center. Forgive me for my selfish motives and weakness to be seen and heard instead of giving you all glory and honor. Strengthen me to accept your grace with a joyful and repentant heart and then do the works you ask of me. Show me me where to firm up my foundation in you against these attacks from the enemy and my concupiscence of narcissism and pride. Teach me how to be your Shepherd in my little corner of the world; helping others by leading the way to your safety.